The holidays can be difficult for many people. Some have family members overseas fighting in the war on terrorism. Others are preparing for their first Christmas without a loved one. There are also those still recovering financially from Obama’s 2010 recovery summer.
For the next two weeks leading up to Christmas the self-professed moral betters, social justice warriors, won’t be talking about any of those issues. Instead, they will focus on the small, insignificant “problems” with Christmas. Their goal is to destroy joy, not celebrate it. They focus on microaggressions, not blessings. While we don’t know if the three French hens are free range or whether the six geese wanted to carry their eggs to term, these are just twelve of the things that have social justice warriors hot and bothered this Christmas.
- The Nativity
In 2016, French courts ruled that the Nativity scene could only be displayed in public spaces if it didn’t “demonstrate a public recognition or preference for a given religion.” While many (read: Muslims and progressives) wanted an outright ban of the nativity, the judges ultimately decided the Nativity displays could remain because Christmas has become disconnected from religion and the Nativity is merely “a decorative element.”
Leave it to the French to figure out a way to give in to all sides. American SJWs and atheists are not deterred and still remain committed to an outright ban of Nativity scenes.
- The Hetero-normative Nativity
SJWs understand that small victories matter. Some don’t believe in outright ban in U.S. wouldn’t work because then they couldn’t come up with creative ideas to shock those who still think Jesus, Mary and Joseph has some significance to the celebration of Christmas. A few weeks ago, they collectively went ga-ga over a Nativity scene so creative a five year-old could have thought it. Two Josephs.
- Gingerbread Men
Several years ago a bakery in Melbourne was praised for its “innovation.” Behold, the “ultra-modern” genderless gingerbread figures. These treats are not only woke, but vegan and organic. However, there is still more work to be done. “Gingerbread” could be offensive to redheads and those who are gluten-free. Furthermore, gingerbread houses are offensive to the homeless.
Bashing consumerism is their mainstream way of bashing capitalism. They lament consumption and Black Friday mania. They lament the vicious cycle of people demanding more goods, hiring more people to make those goods, and then creating more households who can afford to buy more goods. The madness! They even claim that Black Friday brawl videos are simply entertainment for the rich to shame the poor. A veritable Hunger Games on display at your local Walmart. The next time an SJW wants to lecture you on how commercial Christmas has become, simply agree that they are correct and we should instead focus our collective attention on the birth of Jesus Christ.
- Happy Portrayal of the Nuclear Family
SJW beancounters watch commercials throughout the year so they can complain and threaten companies with boycotts. They eagerly tally race, gender, and sexuality in a way that would make Hitler blush. One writer whines, “You’d be hard-pressed to find a positive depiction of Christmas that doesn’t portray a happy nuclear family sitting around a dinner table. This must create a lovely sense of smug conformity for those who can achieve it, but it’s to the detriment of the mental health of everyone who doesn’t have this privilege.”
God forbid someone celebrate Christmas without injecting her daddy issues.
- White Santa
When we think of Santa, we think of a jolly, fat, white-bearded man with pink cheeks and a red and white suit who may or may not be holding a Coke. Much like their view of the U.S. Constitution, the Left believes Santa should evolve. A Slate writer states, “… America is less and less white, but a melanin-deficient Santa remains the default in commercials, mall casting calls, and movies. Isn’t it time that our image of Santa better serve all the children he delights each Christmas?”
- Human Santa
Searching for think pieces on “white Santa” is too easy. To really stand out in the SJW movement, one can’t stop there. Our Slate writer above proposes, “America abandon Santa-as-fat-old-white-man and create a new symbol of Christmas cheer. From here on out, Santa Claus should be a penguin.”
I wouldn’t dismiss it outright. I mean, at least penguin Santa’s address won’t change and we can still retain the North Pole tradition. There is one unfortunate correction at the end of the article though: “This article originally identified penguins as mammals. They are birds.”
Misidentifying a penguin? Shameful.
- Fat-Shaming Santa
A recent Mental Floss article estimated that if Santa drank a glass of milk and ate three cookies at every house he visited he would gain 400,000,000 pounds. But wouldn’t he still be beautiful?
Recently a slew of hipster and fashion Santas have been making the rounds. Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham have been disappointingly silent on this issue.
Amid complaints that there was mistletoe in the White House Christmas décor, many have decided that it’s problematic in the #MeToo era. The Police Service of Northern Ireland tweeted, “If you bump into that special someone under the mistletoe tonight, remember that without consent it is rape #SeasonsGreetings.”
After a backlash, the tweet was deleted. I actually think SJWs might have a point in identifying mistletoe as problematic. My advice: never get caught under the mistletoe with a male feminist.
- Baby, It’s Cold Outside
It’s an annual tradition for some feminist writer to think she discovered that this 1944 classic is problematic and promotes rape culture. In 2015, a Jezebel writer described the song as having “disturbing lyrics depicting predatory dialogue between a man and the woman he keeps from trying to leave his house.”
In an interesting twist, one feminist writer says that her fellow womyn have it all wrong! In context of when the song was written, it is actually about social norms and how women were supposed to behave. They weren’t supposed to want to be sexual or be out alone with a man. She writes, “It is not a joke about how she’s drunk and about to be raped. It’s a joke about how she’s perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because she’s living in a society where women aren’t supposed to have sexual agency.”
- A Christmas Story
You’re probably thinking this holiday classic is on the list because of its glorification of guns or the “soft glow of electric sex” that objectifies women who wear fishnets for practical, not sexual, reasons. You’re wrong. A Christmas Story is problematic because of its portrayal of “institutional racism.” Parker Malloy, a writer and transgender rights activist said the movie promotes white privilege. Referencing the case of Tamir Rice, she tweeted that “the reality for white children” is that police won’t shoot them for holding a gun.
- Wrapping Paper
The Clean Air Council estimated, “In the U.S., an additional 5 million tons of waste is generated during the holidays. Four million tons of this is wrapping paper and shopping bags.”
One self-identified TreeHugger suggests using recycled paper, cloth bags, and not using ribbons or bows. However, this TreeHugger is at least intellectually honest. He writes, “Believe it or not Walmart has, and continues to, reduce packaging waste through its highly ambitious and effective sustainability initiative.”
I’ll give environmentalists this point on consumer waste if they stop remaining silent on the tons of trees destroyed to make never-read copies of Al Franken, Giant of the Senate by Al Franken. (Yes, this is a real book that was released in May 2017.)
Merry Christmas, everyone!